Conflicted ATWT fan

I have had many ideas and thoughts mulling around in my head since September 17th, 2011 (on the first anniversary of the end of ATWT). I still miss As The World Turns and my Oakdale 'reel' families. I want to continue honouring and respecting the rich history; and I especially want to 'give back' to the veteran actors and writers, who gave me fifty years of 'stories', that somehow intermingled with my personal life to help make me the person that I am. I am not an obsessed fan. I never joined a fan club, wrote to an actor or made my feelings about my 'soap' known to anyone other than my family. Then, last summer (2010) just before the show ended, I began my facebook tributes through a dedicated ATWT page, and groups. In July 2010, I started a scrapbook tribute and eventually made twelve other albums. I have been trying to respect and honour As The World Turns ever since.

Rosemary Prinz
as Penny Hughes

As with so many other fans, I became very conflicted when my soap 'ended'. My 'confiction' comes from the similarities and differences between a continuing serial drama and 'real' life. Everything in life has a beginning, a middle and an ultimate ending. By definition, a family generational, continuing serial drama should never end - it should continue. It does in real life by birth and death with each generation. Should a 'soap opera' also continue forever in television? Or should there be an ending? Conflict.



Ellen Dolan
Helen Wagner


My CONFLICT
I wanted my 'story' to continue - forever. But that is not realistic. And that was proven to me with the death of Helen Wagner. Her last scene was so prophetic and ethereal, that it made me wonder if her death was not a blessing in disguise. How could I say goodbye to someone who I had known all my life. Ms. Wagner's death hit me almost as hard as my own mother's death had four years earlier. My mother was 78 when she passed, and Helen Wagner was in her nineties.

Although I tend to be the eternal optimist, I am also smart enough to know that everything in life has a beginning, a middle and an end. To me, As The World Turns was always part of my life. The beginning was a warm place to go to be part of a great story. I remember when my mother first told me about Lisa Miller coming to Oakdale and how she caused all kinds of trouble for the Hughes family. At seven years of age, I was quickly made to feel as though Nancy and Chris represented a 'reel' family that I could relate to through my own mother. When I would come home from school, or else watch during vacation and sick days, I got to know Penny, Ellen, Nancy, Grandpa Hughes, Claire, Chris, Bob and Lisa. I didn't quite understand what was going on with all the drama and just why Ellen was sent to jail or all of Jeff's emotional problems. I was able to relate to the family relationships and to the storylines that were different and that showed a dramatic family dynamic that was also great storytelling. Later on, I was fascinated by Dan, Susan, Paul, Liz and the introduction of the Sullivan women (Kim and Jennifer).

Justin Deas
Margaret Colin
as Tom & Margo

The middle came during the 1980's, when I was a young mother and able to watch As The World Turns on a more regular basis. I not only watched the wedding of Diana and Charles, but I was involved in the lives of Dee and Annie, Barbara and James, John, Margo, Tom, Craig, Steve and Betsy. It was an exciting time; and I was so happy to be able to spend every afternoon with my Oakdale family. During those years, I worked part-time at a bank and was very happy to start at 4:00pm in the afternoon, so that I wouldn't miss my 'story'. One time, when Craig was up to his mischief with Betsy, my husband and I were on vacation in Vermont and I specifically remember being in the Ground Round for lunch. I was excited to see that the television in the lobby of the restaurant had their television tuned to ATWT. I stood there watching for a few minutes, while my husband just shook his head in dismay. In August 1982, Tom and Margo were falling in love in the jungle and Mr. Big was creating all kinds of drama and comedy for the real-life couple, Justin Deas and Margaret Colin. I was so mesmerized by the acting and the quirky dialogue, that I refused to go to the hospital when I was in labour with my son. Instead, I laid in my bed and watched the day's episode on a twelve inch black and white television. Then, I went to the hospital to give birth.

Finn Carter, Scott Bryce
and Elizabeth Hubbard
as Sierra, Craig & Lucinda

And so it continued through the Douglas Marland years, when the Snyders and the Walsh families were introduced. The magic of those years was a constant joy to me. I loved watching Lisa with her men (including John) and watching Lucinda give her a run for the money as a Diva. I adored Lily, Holden, Dusty and even Damian growing up before my eyes; and trying to make sense of their feelings and problems. I also was interested and fully enthralled with Barbara, Brian, Shannon, Duncan, Craig, Sierra, Tom, Margo, Hal, Bob, Kim, Frannie, Kevin, Andy, Julie, Lien, Lyla, Casey, Kirk, the Snyder clan, Betsy, Steve, Emily, Paul and of course, "Hello Barbara", James Stenbeck. There were so many cast members, though, that Nancy and Chris disappeared for a time. However, it was exciting and the writers always seemed to make certain that on special occasions and Christmas, the core families were honoured. I loved seeing Penny and Don come back for Nancy and Chris's 50th wedding anniversary (the show's 30th anniversary) and Bob's wedding to Kim. The best part, for me, was being able to talk to my mother about the show, whenever she would call and discuss how she felt the characters reacted to their situations. My mother had very strong opinions about what should happen, especially when it came to Lisa.

The middle also included the introduction of more supercouples like Mike and Rosanna, Carly and Jack, and Katie with all the eligible men of Oakdale. Infidelity (Bob with Susan) and social issues were explored (rape, AIDS & HIV, euthanasia (all Margo), interracial marriage (Duncan and Jessica), addiction (Andy and Susan) and bullying and gay acceptance (Luke and Noah). Birth, death and loss (Nora, Johnny and Jennifer)were also very well dealt with; as was serious illness such as Alzheimers (Dan McClosky), heart disease (Kim) and Cancer (Lucinda and Barbara). The health concerns and difficult situations became more realistic and culturally relevant. No one died of a mysterious brain tumour or by falling up the stairs. We still had temporary blindness, amnesia, paralysis and sudden onset of mental instability along with random murders and disappearances.

Van Hansis & Jaake Silberman
as Luke and Noah

But, we were able to experience the joys and the sorrows with all the characters and understand the diversity and the strengths of the different pairings of the relationships. It was difficult to accept some of the transitions in the personalities of some of the characters like Craig, Barbara and Carly, but we were able to overlook some of these, simply because we realized that people change, grow and sometimes become their own worst enemies. And that leads me to the end.

Many of you will not agree with me, but I honestly have come to accept the end of As The World Turns. A few months ago, I tried to imagine the continuation of the story, and I had a great deal of difficulty doing so. I know many people have written their own fan fiction that continues the story, but I would have difficulty making a logically interesting future that would not only honour the rich history of the families and the relationships, but that would also respect the veteran actors and all they have given us over many decades. I can't imagine a different future for Kim and Bob other than retirement and enjoying their grandchildren. I would like to see Lisa with another man in her life (perhaps even Grant Coleman or Earl Mitchell). But realistically, I think she would remain single and happy in her independence.

For the couples themselves, I see more of a 'status quo' or acceptance of more stability. Carly and Jack, Holden and Lily, Dusty and Janet, Tom and Margo would remain together and happy for the first time.The only ones that I still feel are in transition are Paul, Emily and Meg as well as Craig, Sierra and Rosanna. The end should have included the return of Penny, Don, Ellen, Andy and Adam for Nancy's memorial. That was a huge mistake, and I will forever feel that it was disrespect to Rosemary Prinz, Patricia Bruder and Scott Defreitas. I also feel that it was poor judgement not to have Martha Byrne reprise her role as Lily. I do not think that a continuation of ATWT is necessary or even possible, unless it is somehow re-vamped completely (maybe incorporating GL and AW characters) and making it a once a week primetime drama; where the veteran actors make occasional guest appearances. There would also have to be a tremendous shift back to only the core families and a smaller cast. The history could be explained through reference, and perhaps even through periodic flashbacks.

So, here is my real conflict. When I first started writing this blog (in September 2011), all I had were my memories, books, photos and the tributes I made. I also watched the endless flood of Youtube videos that were being uploaded to the internet. I had embraced all the campaigns to 'get ATWT back' and had resigned myself to 'move on'. I started watching One Life to Live two weeks before the cancellation was announced, in April 2011. Although I had no previous history with OLTL at all, I was immediately enchanted with Erika Slezak and Robin Strasser; and I gave it a chance. I am sad that this show will be ending on January 13, 2012, but I am still confident that some kind of new production is possible. So, it is not the same thing for me, with the loss of this wonderful 'soap'. I will miss my new-found afternoon 'story', but I can accept it. That is not the case for most 'soap' fans. The loss of a soap that is part of your personal life, can be devastating. And it is not the same thing as losing a long-time running show like MASH, Friends or ER. They had a beginning, a middle and an end. To most soap fans, there is no end to a soap. It continues.

Colleen Zenk, Kathryn Hays
and Marie Masters

For me, the residents of Oakdale were part of my life for 50 years (most of my life). I am able to see the end and perhaps a new beginning, only in another form. In October 2011, I was given a tremendous gift that made me very, very happy. P&G released the rights to their shows and we now have DVDs of classic episodes and we will soon have streaming. For me, this is a way to honour and respect MY 'story'. So, I have what I have wanted. And as far as the future is concerned, I am excited to see the fine actors pursue their futures in other areas, whether that is acting on television, film, theatre or performing in cabaret. It was one of my greatest pleasures to have the opportunity to meet Colleen Zenk and Trent Dawson in November, 2011. Some of the veteran actors like Marie Masters can perhaps once again write for drama; and Don Hastings and Kathryn Hays can pursue local productions or else enjoy their retirement. The wonderful younger actors have a bright future ahead of them. Just look at the ATWT alumni including Marisa Tomei, Julianne Moore, Steven Webber and Meg Ryan.

The big picture comes into play when I think of all the soap fans who have lost so much more than I have lost. I have written before about how I feel about 'storytelling' of the daytime serial drama, as opposed to the 'fluff' reality talk and game shows. That is not what this blog is about. I will never understand how one genre can replace another that matters so much to so many people. I was lucky that I only ever watched one soap. But there are millions of what I call TRUE soap fans who have a unique and wonderful relationship with several soaps (past and present). Those are the fans who are truly suffering from the changes being made in  the television industry. So, Iam also conflicted when I see the pain of other fans in comparison to my own.

Michael Park

And there is one more reason why I am a conflicted fan. I am concerned and worried for the soap opera genre, but I also am wise enough to know that it must change. We will never again see the glory of the days of the '70s and '80s where daytime soaps paid for Primetime television. So, change it shall. Within the next five years, there will be no more daytime soap operas, just as there are no more radio serial dramas (where the soap opera originated in the 1930s). There will also be no more Daytime Emmys, because there will be no daytime actors. It will all be different with a plethora of DIY and cooking shows and 'so-called reality', non-celebrity will have replaced the legitimate art form of good scripted writing and acting. I will be happy with my DVDs and on-line streaming and sincerely hope to see a revitalization of the genre on the internet. And that could also mean new production of OLTL and maybe even a hybrid versionof ATWT. So, I won't need network daytime television, anymore. Once again, a conflict. Who knows. Maybe five years from now, I won't be conflicted anymore.