Times have changed. There is absolutely no doubt about that. My grandchildren live in a world of iphones and DS (I guess that's the new word for hand-held video games). Technology has made 'playing' with friends simply to 'play', a thing of the past. Unless there are supervised, organized team sports, today's child doesn't know how to 'play', use their imagination and be creative. How many times do you see two or three girls get together and play an actual game, other than listen to music on their MP3 players ? How many times do you get woken up on a Saturday morning, listening to a group of boys playing ball hockey on the street, shouting, "He shouts, he scores". How many times do you see a family just spending time together? If a family does an activity together in today's world of guilt and catering to the youth, it is to spend an absurd amount of money going to a theme park. There is no pleasing 'kids' (who have a tremendous sense of entitlement), without growing broke. As parents, we have done our children a disservice by giving them everything they ask for - there is no 'free' anymore. The family 'togetherness' of the past is gone. And, I honestly don't think that parents care to listen to their children anymore. "Too busy, not enough time", is what I hear, time and time again. It is easier for parents to buy their children the gadgets they want and let them 'tweet' and message their friends, rather than to actually insist and to provide them the opportunity and incentive to use their imaginations and 'play'. It makes me sad, when after the weekend, I ask the children of my daycare, how they spent their weekend. Most of the time they simply say, "nothing". When I question it, it is simply that - on a beautiful summer Saturday, they either watched marathon reruns of Hannah Montana or played video games. When I ask, what the parents did on the weekend, they tell me, "I don't know". Why?
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| Of course, I had the original Barbie |
As a child, I lived for Captain Kangaroo before school every morning; and then I spent hour upon hour playing with my dolls, doll houses, paper dolls and Barbies (get the picture - a real girly-girl). When I got together with my friends, we would go exploring along the creek by the park, ride our bikes around the block for hours, play wall ball ("one, two, three a-Larry) or jump rope, and even write and perform plays (like Cinderella) where there would be no audience. I excelled at a long-forgotten jumping game where you tied plastic bands together and then had to jump over at varying heights - if you didn't have two friends to hold the ends, then you improvised by wrapping the ends around two trees. I became quite good at jumping over (with a lot of practice). I had fun, lots of it. Oh, and I walked several blocks to school (even in Kindergarten), by myself,. My parents were never worried about predators (mainly because it was not a media scare phobia). In the summer, I would go outside after doing my chores (hand washing dishes, tidying and helping with the garden), get together with my friends, check in for lunch, maybe watch Mike Douglas, the Newlywed Game and As The World Turns with my mother, and then go outside and play badminton with my brother (the only activity we ever enjoyed doing together), then spend time in my room, listening to music I had taped from the radio onto a reel to reel tape recorder.
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| Peter McEnery and Hayley Mills in The Moonspinners. |
I would also READ - go figure. As a teenager, I would walk quite a distance to the local library and carry home an armful of novels (anything from Heidi, Jane Eyre, Gone With the Wind to the romantic period novels by Dorothy Eden. At one point, I became 'obsessed with Hayley Mills and her Disney movies. When I saw 'The Moonspinners', I fell in love with the actor Peter McEnery. He was young, handsome, had an adorable British accent (which I tried to copy). I tried to write a book, based on the movie, with lots of hand-drawn pictures.Years later, I named my son after the character that Peter McEnery played in the movie. After I saw the movie, of course, I had to get the book by Mary Stewart that the movie was based on and then I devoured all of the author's other novels. I wouldn't have dreamed of asking my parents to 'buy' me the books. I waited patiently for them to turned in at the library.
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| I loved teenagers, Patty and her identical cousin, Cathy |
After working on my homework, I would enjoy watching television with my parents (yes, we would spend time together).I loved the situation comedies (Patty Duke, Dick Van Dyke, That Girl, and was allowed to watch certain adult shows like Hawaii 5-O, Dragnet and Adam 12. Oh, and I became a 'Trekkie'. Don't get me wrong, I also loved the shows that my parents didn't watch like the Man from U.N.C.L. E., the Monkees, and I also loved the variety shows like Ed Sullivan, Sonny & Cher, Dean Martin and the Carpenters. I was a normal teenager, who loved spending time with my family, my friends and by myself. I was never bored - always busy. But I also remember neighbors getting together for parties, a true sense of community and belonging. Family vacations were frugal but very special. Quite often, my mother would forgo having a drink in the restaurant, when money was tight. We enjoyed just being together, sitting under the the pink umbrella, listening to the radio, while my father would barbeque hot dogs. My friends would always be welcome to join us, and although my brother and I fought (like any siblings do), we had a close, fun time.
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| Richard and Karen Carpenter |
In High School I had two close friends. We would get together for parties (supervised by our parents) and also spend time watching football games, extra curricular clubs and school trips. If there was a movie we wanted to see, my father or my friend's father would drive us to the theatre and then pick us up afterwards. If I spent money on an ice cream cone, it was a treat. There was no such thing as 'hanging out' at McDonalds or the mall. Although, I wasn't particularly popular (didn't have a boyfriend) but I also remember a more 'congenial' relationship amongst all my peers and classmates. There were no gangs or really 'bad ' kids. We all had respect for our teachers, loyalty and school spirit. We also had respect for our parents. I would never have even thought to go somewhere (to a game or a friend's house) without making the twenty minute walk home first to tell my mother what I was doing. I could have spent the 10 cents to call home from a phone booth, but I was also interested in what was going on at home first. I also knew that if my mother needed me to help her for some reason, it was my responsibility to help her first, before I went out. For my birthday one year my parents bought me a single ticket to go and see the Carpenters perform at the CNE in Toronto. My father drove me to the subway station and then picked me up from the subway afterwards. The following year, I received a ticket to see Engelbert Humperdinck. I left high school with good friends that I still have contact with, today. University, on the other hand, was very impersonal, large and solitary. I joined a sorority and had great experiences with many very interesting women. As I entered adulthood, I was confident that I had had a rich and fulfilled childhood. I was ready for boyfriends, part-time jobs, studies and the future. I am not so certain that the young people who are maturity today, have enough true, experience in a nurturing environment similar to what I experienced growing up in the '60's.
As The World Turns, as a family generational story, presented many opportunities to deal with the younger generation and relate it back to the older characters. Of course, the children grew up very quickly, but we always forgave slight indiscretions for the sake of the 'story'. The real impetus of the younger storyline with societal issues, feelings and problems really started in the mid-eighties and continued on from there. The young people were always presented realistically and definitely relatable. We see the interaction between the generations through the influences of Nancy Hughes. While Nancy was very harsh and judgemental with her daughter Penny, she softened when Tom came back from Vietnam with a drug problem. Nancy mellowed later, to embrace and tutor a young illiterate waif (played by Lauren Hill) and to accept her great-grandson Casey's gambling. Nancy also became a mentor, confidant and friend to Katie Peretti.
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| Bob and his son, Tom |
As I have alluded to many times, my youth also included As The World Turns. My mother would tell me what was going on. I remember my mother telling me all about Penny and Ellen. My memories of that time are more in the background as glimpses into family life on television with subjective judgements of feelings that my mother would recount. She would say things like, "Lisa is making a big mistake by leaving Bob. She will regret it. How can she leave her son?" She was especially fascinated by the relationship that Lisa had with her mother-in-law, Nancy. And then when Ellen was in jail, my mother was quite upset at the injustice. I have very fond memories of watching ATWT with my mother when I was home from school, either on sick days or summer vacations. Of course, my favourite shows were the Christmas episodes. Having a European background, we celebrated Christmas on Christmas Eve. It was very special, indeed when I would watch the Christmas episode and then a few hours later open my gifts.
For some reason, I can't let go of the feeling that the families of Oakdale were 'real' to me as a child. There was a closeness and compassion of family that has disappeared or else has been replaced with something I don't like anymore. In those days, the children and teenagers were part of everyday life that meant something.
When my children were growing up in the '80's, my husband and I tried to instill the same values that we had grown up with. Times had already changed. Car seats were mandatory and you were considered a 'bad' parent if you let your child walk to school by themselves. Organized teams, dance classes and martial arts replaced impromptu play, puppet shows and street hockey. T ball was preferred over playing catch with your Dad or your brother (although my son loved throwing a football or baseball with his Dad, so much so that my husband decided to take on coaching duties for over ten years). My daughter still played with Barbies and later would have sleepovers (unheard of in my time) with her friends, while discussing New Kids on the Block and 90210 (the original one). The first video game they saw was Mario Bros. When I gave in and bought my son his first Nintendo, it was baseball and football. He was quite satisfied with that.
Tom and Margo didn't get along at all. Tom had been married before; and Margo had just finished a relationship with James Stenbeck, when they found the passion in each other and developed a strong long-lasting love. It was nice that the writers were able to let Tom and Margo build a family (even though Adam was Hal's son) that would continue for over twenty years.
In early 1985, while Lily and Dusty were trying to control adolescent feelings for one another, I was confident that my children would be able to see the value in the advice from me, my husband, their teachers and grandparents. Even then, although most mothers (including myself) had entered the work force, the family unit was still strong. Divorce and alternate families were not as common; and that was also reflected in our soap. Dusty and Lily were normal teenagers; and only when Holden arrived in Oakdale in October 1985, did some conflicting emotions throw Lily into uncertainty. She showed her upbringing by rejecting the unknown and the 'trouble' Holden represented, and concentrated on relying on the stable relationship she had already established with Dusty, while shunning and even ridiculing Holden's advances.
When my children were growing up in the '80's, my husband and I tried to instill the same values that we had grown up with. Times had already changed. Car seats were mandatory and you were considered a 'bad' parent if you let your child walk to school by themselves. Organized teams, dance classes and martial arts replaced impromptu play, puppet shows and street hockey. T ball was preferred over playing catch with your Dad or your brother (although my son loved throwing a football or baseball with his Dad, so much so that my husband decided to take on coaching duties for over ten years). My daughter still played with Barbies and later would have sleepovers (unheard of in my time) with her friends, while discussing New Kids on the Block and 90210 (the original one). The first video game they saw was Mario Bros. When I gave in and bought my son his first Nintendo, it was baseball and football. He was quite satisfied with that.
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| Father - Son Confrontation James Stenbeck and Paul Ryan |
Before the the Douglas Marland years, Barbara spread her wings and decided that she would get away from the vindictive and damaging, James Stenbeck. Barbara was a good mother and tried to protect Paul from his father, but no matter how hard she tried, (even with Gunnar St. Clair), Paul would always be influenced by his 'evil' father.
Tom and Margo didn't get along at all. Tom had been married before; and Margo had just finished a relationship with James Stenbeck, when they found the passion in each other and developed a strong long-lasting love. It was nice that the writers were able to let Tom and Margo build a family (even though Adam was Hal's son) that would continue for over twenty years.
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| Dan Stewart (John Colenbeck) with Betsy and Emily |
We also saw a young Betsy Stewart (Meg Ryan) become involved with the rough Steve Andropoulos (much to the chagrin of Steve's older brother Nick). It was good girl college type meeting blue collar loner (classic love story with opposites attracting each other - later to be repeated with Holden and Lily). When Nick got so upset over the relationship that he had a heart attack and died, Betsy felt guilty and turned to Craig. Meg Ryan as Betsy instantly became the 'sweetheart' of ATWT when she was first introduced. She was Kim's stepdaughter (from her marriage to Dan Stewart) and Emily's half-sister. While Emily would always show her 'wild-side', Betsy always was shown as the good girls.
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| Scott Bryce, Meg Ryan and Frank Runyeon |
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| Meg Ryan |
One of the scenes that impressed me the most, was when Betsy was uncomfortable in a local bar and Steve started a conversation with her. You could see how her defences immediately went down with this sincere, charming yet unassuming young man.
Although I always loved the chemistry between Meg Ryan and Scott Bryce better, I truly wanted Betsy and Steve to 'make it'. All three young actors showed expertise and character development that made the story so poignant and heartbreaking. When Craig finally gave up on Betsy, I was happy but still convinced that Betsy and Steve were not quite right for each other. Mind you, the wedding vows proved me wrong.
In 1984, Marisa Tomei played Marci Thomson, a awkward teenager, who had an uncharacteristic crush on Dr. Bob Hughes. She was friends with Frannie and thought she was in love with Frannie's father. Marci was turned around and won the Cinderella Sweepstakes, turning her attention to Kirk McColl (Christian Le Blanc). Eventually, she found her Prince Charming in Lord Cushing ( a British aristocrat). Here Germaine Jackson and Whitney Houston perform.
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| Marha Byrne and Brian Bloom |
This scene from ATWT in 1985 shows two separate storylines involving feelings of two young women - Julianne Moore (as Frannie Hughes) talking to Kim about the upcoming marriage of her father and her aunt; and Lucy Deakins (as Lily) dealing with her feelings for Dusty (Brian Bloom).
In the late 80's early 90's the focus went from teenage problems with hormones, sex and family insecurities to actually dealing withsocietal issues such as alcoholism, homosexulaity, bullying and pregnancy.
It was always part of the history of As The World Turns to show the children growing into teenagers. Here we have Lien Hughes (Tom's daughter), Andy Dixon and Paul (Ryan) Stenbeck who became good friends. They were very successfully incorporated into the storylines to show issues and concerns of pre-adults. Paul would be seduced by an older woman, Emily Stewart while being threatened and tortured by his own father, James. Andy would also have a relationship with a selfish and controlling older woman, Julie who would lead him into conflicts of self-doubt and turmoil and subsequent alcoholism. Some of the most important, poignant scenes were in 1989 when Andy Dixon (Kim and John's son), played for many years by the brilliant Scott Defreitas was having difficulties in the relationship with the unsympathetic, Julie. Andy turned to alcohol, even when Duke, Lien and Paul tried to help him. It was a struggle with his parents and his uncertainty with Julie, that sent Andy over the edge. Bob didn't believe Kim when she told him how much trouble Andy was in. He thought that Susan (who was on pain killers, herself) was getting him the help he needed. Lucinda, who was married to John at the time, also pressed John and made the whole 'intervention' more difficult. These three clips show how a young person can be influenced by the uncertainty and conflicting emotions when he is not yet mature enough to deal with day to day life.
Part 2 will continue on with As The World Turns during the Doug Marland years and highlight the young Snyders and how times have changed from the late '80's through the 90's and into the present. I would like to also be subjective, once again with my thoughts for the present and the future.
